The Mall of DOOM
by cgaussie
Summary: (Co-written with Sanguine Symphony) Zim decides to take Zib for an outing since it's too hot in his base, but what happens when the group embark on a mission to the Mall? You shall see.


**Mall of DOOM  
**Written by: Saguine Symphony and Cartman's Girl  
  
Notes. This was origionally an RP, to work on Zib's personality. It ended up as a full blown fanfic, and I believe (CG here btw) that it is good enough to show you guys. It's just for fun, so yeah… sit back and enjoy the Mall of DOOM.  
  
~*~ (_you'll believe a star can fly!)_  
  
Zim's lab was abnormally hot. Reason being it was Summer vacation and the sun's lethal deadly waves of ray light were blasting the earth. Sweat was dripping off Zim's head as he was sat at his computer, upgrading his main functions stations from Irk.  
  
"It's hotter then the sun in here..." he scowled nastily as he wiped some sweat away.  
  
Zib wanders through the lab, bored. GIR was far too.. well.. odd to make a worthy companion for long, so he settled for annoying, however inadvertently, one of his 'parents'. Spying his Irken 'Mother', he wandered over, watching Zim for a while before wondering out loud,  
  
"Whatcha doin'?"  
  
Zim glanced at Zib, before looking back at the controls.   
  
"Upgrading." He pointed to a bar, which is almost full of being blank. "Once that timer is full, my uploads complete and I can get the heck out of this stinky room."  
  
"Ooooh." Zib folded his arms behind his back, watching the bar for a while. He then scowled in a manner much like Zim's, regarding the computer, "Don't you have any games on this or something?" Apparently, he's inherited a bit of his aunt as well.  
  
"Heh heh. No." Zim replied sharply after a short chuckle. "Touch anything here and you might destroy all my work today, so claws or hands or whatever you have under your gloves, off." Zib kept scowling,   
  
"Well, there's nothing else to DO around this STINK hole," he muttered, "GIR's eyes are glued, probably literally by now, to the TV and Dad's off chasing vampire cows, or something." His pouty scowl furthered, and he stuck his claws in his trench coat, "He could have at least invited me along."  
  
"Eh, don't suspect so much from your 'Dad', Zib. He's a pitiful human earth stink and he only cares about himself. That and revealing me." Zim replied as he crossed his gloved hands, watching the bar. "As for GIR, huh, there's a lost cause."  
  
Zib sighed and sat down on the ground, watching the bar along with Zim. It wasn't like he could go out in public often; his magenta eyes were a bit disturbing, and the similarities between he and his parents were a bit too striking. People would definitely get curious about why there was a hybrid of that odd green kid and the large-headed paranormal nut running around.  
  
He pulled a few cookies out of his pocket and started munching loudly, despite knowing, or perhaps forgetting, his 'Mom's aversion to human food. One of Zim's eyes narrowed a bit at the sound of munching, and turned his head around to Zib.  
  
"What are you doing, Zib?" Zim's eyes grew wider as he saw the culprit, "COOKIES?! Don't you _know_ how those... cookies are created?!" Zim was now standing on his chair, pointing dramatically at the cookies, or maybe the crumbs on his clean floor.  
  
"That's got... _human_ food stuff in the ingredients! Did you know chickens actually LAY things?! And that goes in there!" Zim then got off from his seat and took the cookies from Zib before Zib could say anything, and held them away from himself. "Such.. ewww, disgusting human food stuff...!"  
  
Zib blinked blankly as his cookies were removed, before scowling and reaching up, trying to retrieve them from his 'parent's' claws, standing on his tip-toes, to no avail.  
  
"Hey! Gimme those back!" Unsuccessful, he folds his arms and continues scowling, attempting to look intimidating and angry, but instead just coming off as pouty.  
  
"Who cares what chickens do?"  
  
"_I_ care about what chickens do! We have NO idea what kind of sticky chicken like things they could do to your insides! Don't come crying to _me_ when you're growing feathers!" Zim snapped back as he quickly got a bag from a compartment near his main control desk, and shoved the cookies into it, sealing it up.  
  
Zib slouched, glowering at the ground.  
  
"How come you and Dad never let me do anything fun? I can't even have a snack around here!" He grumbled, muttering about humans and aliens.  
  
"Zib, this is for your _own_ good. Do you think I _enjoy_ having you hanging around my base all the time?" Zim was quick to send the cookie bag into outer space via the chicken-shooter. "If you _must_ have a snack, have one of the healthy and far more superior Irken food sources I have in the kitchen." He added as he watched the dot, representing the cookies burn up in the sun.  
  
"I'm _not_ eating ALIEN food!" Zib made a face, wrinkling the area his nose would be if he had one. Having been born on Earth, he didn't really seem to consider the fact that he WAS half alien. Zib unfolded his arms, stuffing them in his pockets and glaring daggers at the floor, kicking away a non-existent rock, looking so disgruntled, it was almost cute.  
  
Zim turned back to Zib, arms folded and not being affected by the spawn's act. "Well you're _not_ going to eat anything like GIR eats in this base!" He snapped, still ignoring the cute factor Zib was giving off. Then he remembered how hot it was in here, and he wiped a good gallon of sweat from his forehead.  
  
"It's too hot to argue down here..." he then grabbed Zib by the wrist and literally dragged him from the lab. "For a change Zib, I'm taking you out into the world, the world that we shall soon rule with an iron fist, you hear me?"  
  
Zib yipped as he was dragged off, apparently surprised his little display hadn't worked. He grumbled and caught himself, walking quickly to keep up with the longer strides of his 'Mom', still glaring, pushing his skewed glasses back onto.. well.. however he keeps them up.  
  
"I thought you said I looked too weird to go outside?"  
  
"I've changed my mind, I can do that." Zim replied as they entered the elevator machine. Soon the two climbed out of the toilet, and Zim turned to Zib, lenses in his hands after searching in a drawer.  
  
"Now for you to be able to walk around un-noticed by the pathetic human species, you have to wear these. They're very scratchy, but take them our and our whole plot will be DOOMED."  
  
Zib regarded Zim dully,  
  
"Uh, what about the fact I have no nose, no ears, and my skin is greenish yellow?" He had apparently inherited his 'Father's ability to see the.. er.. subtle inaccuracies in Zim's costume design. He put the lenses in anyway, making faces and wincing, blinking repeatedly, "These are WEIRD…"  
  
"Well they haven't noticed me having no nose, no ears and green skin so why would they notice _yours_?" Zim replied simply, Zib snorted,  
  
"Stupid humans."  
  
Zim then turned to a cupboard and sorting through it, muttering to himself.   
  
"Now where's the paste gone... a-Hah!" Zim turned back to Zib, a bottle of paste in his hand. He quickly screwed the top off, and pulled Zib to him.  
  
"Now this is in case we get splashed by the burning liquid outside, close your eyes." Zim squirted some of the paste onto his gloved hand, and was soon rubbing it all over Zib's head. Zib blinked, and started squirming when paste was forcibly applied to his face,  
  
"Hey! M-oom! Don't rub so hard!" He whined, shutting his eyes, but occasionally opening them a crack to see what Zim was doing, trying to hold onto his glasses to keep them from being knocked off.  
  
"Hold still Zib! You need the paste or your skin shall be doomed!" Zim snapped as he continued rubbing it over Zib's face roughly. Finally he stopped, and applied the paste to his own skin.  
  
"We'll need to take this with us, you never know when you'll come across a... paste.. destroying thingie." He then dropped the paste into his pod, and wiped his hands again.  
  
"Sticky paste..."  
  
Zib grumbled, adjusting his glasses again. He scratched at the paste, making a face when he gets it on his claw-tips, wiping it off on his magenta shirt.  
  
"Where're we going?" He looked up at Zim, his curiosity making him forget he was suppose to be pouting and grumbling, excited by the prospect of actually not being cramped up in Zim's lab, for once.  
  
"I don't know... someplace cooler then here." Zim replied as he put his own contacts in, and put his pompadour wig atop his head.  
  
"Now no wondering off, because if you do who knows what'll happen this time." He wagged a finger in Zib's direction, "And I don't want to spend this hot day trying to find you."  
  
"Oh, ok-ay..." Zib sighed in an exasperated tone, starting towards the front door. He cast a worried look at GIR, who was millimetres from the TV, watching an infomercial as though it was the most riveting thing the robot had ever seen.  
  
"Should we, uh, trust him here by himself?"  
  
"No, and we're not. GIR!" Zim turned on his heels and glared down at the stupid robot.  
  
"Yeeesssssss?" GIR's squeaky voice answered, his eye-cams not leaving the TV.  
  
"We're heading out, get into your disguise!"  
  
"But I'm watching TV!" GIR replied.  
  
"Now, GIR."  
  
"Awww..." GIR for once obeyed and got into his dog disguise. Zim grabs the leash in one claw, and Zib's claw in the other.  
  
"Right! Off we go, the first, REAL family outing this family's had." He kicked the door open with his boot, and the group walk out into the day light. Zib snickered to himself at GIR's leash, covering his mouth with his free claw. At least Zim didn't drag him around on one of those toddler leashes.  
  
He doesn't think about it for long, though, instead admiring the scenery, looking somewhat happy before spotting the various humans wandering around. The group certainly gets a few odd looks, to say the least. He shied away, drawing closer to Zim's side; his fairly sheltered 'upbringing', combined with the antisocial-ness of both his parents, don't exactly make him outgoing.  
  
The group made their way down the road, Zim glaring at any human who would stand and stare at them long enough. GIR was more or less being dragged along while laid on his stomach, not caring where they're going. But he soon tired of this, and began trotting happily after Zim and Zib.  
  
"Dobedobedo!" sang the little robot merrily, before being shushed by Zim. "Aww."  
  
"Now Zib, I'll be showing you where most of these stinky sweaty humans spend hot days. Sometimes it's The Mall or the Swimming Pool. First, the Mall!" Zim explained proudly as the group stopped at the corner of a street, waiting for the lights to turn.  
  
"The.. mall?" Zib wondered, taking in the various sights as they wandered down the road. He flinched as several cars roared by, coughing and waving the exhaust away from his face, "Filthy human vehicles!" He sputtered, making sure to stick close by to Zim. "How far away's this... mall?" He asks, dangerously close to going into 'Are we there yet?' mode.  
  
"Not that far." Zim replied, as the walking sign pinged to green. The group marched across the road, and was soon safely on the pavement again. "Oh you should see it Zib, stores stores and more stores where the pitiful human race spend all their money. You'd think they'd put their money more into their technology but nooo. They only care about tin can openers and other assorted junk!"  
  
"I like tin can openers!" GIR declared happily.  
  
"That's because you are one, GIR."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Zib followed closely, lagging a bit as he looked around curiously. He finally got bored with the environment, falling into step with Zim and looking ahead dully. He spotted a shine on the ground, stopping, leaning over to pick up the coin, before being yanked along by Zim. Turning the coin over in his free claw, wondering to himself, before shrugging and trying to take a bite out of it experimentally - not to test its value, but its taste.  
  
"Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's BEEN!" Zim declared as he spotted Zib biting onto the coin. GIR looked at the coin, after squeezing in between Zim and Zib.  
  
"Shiny!" he declared. Zib abruptly stop and withdrew the coin, scowling at it.  
  
"Hey! I found it first!" He pulled it away and scowled at GIR, clinging to the coin possessively. "Find your own."  
  
"Okie dokie!" GIR fell to the ground and began snuffling the ground, searching for money as he continued to be dragged along by Zim.  
  
"You shouldn't put anything you find from the ground in your mouth Zib, who knows what filthy GERMS are on it." Zim explained, then as if noticing something he stops Zib walking and is looking directly at his face. "I should have noticed before... you're absolutely filthy! What have you been doing?!" Zib blinks a few times, trying to remember.   
  
"GIR introduced me to his fat, pink, curly-tailed friend, and we, uh.." He slouched a bit, looking down at the ground with guilt, "...we snuck out into the back yard. THEY were the ones making a mess, though," He pointed an accusing claw at GIR, "I just got hit with their filthy dirt-playing!"  
  
"GIR how could you!?" Zim snapped at the robot, who was now watching a bird flying through the air. He rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back to Zib, he reminded himself to purchase a kiddie leash and attach it to Zib so this wouldn't happen again.  
  
"Well hold still." Zim put his claw to Zib's shoulder, licked his finger and proceeded to clean Zib's cheek. Somehow he manages to get past the paste which is now clear, and cleans Zib's cheek which was more dirty then usual. "Tsk tsk... disgusting!"  
  
"Geh! Mo-om, stoppit!" Zib feebly tried to squirm away, before sighing and resigning to his fate with a pouty glare, grumbling. He then looked up, spotting a large building in the distance, "Hey, is that the mall?" Zim turned his head somewhat, then got back to his feet, what with having to kneel to clean Zib's cheek.   
  
"Yes! That's it! Brilliant eye-sight Zib, even if you have glasses like your Dad. COME!" He grabbed Zib by the hand and grabbed GIR's leash again and the group continued on their way. Zib smiled slightly at the approval from his parent. Of course, the fact that large, neon letters that could be seen from a mile away marked the mall made his observation skills less remarkable, but still. Soon the group entered the mall, the main centre of air conditioning.  
  
"Ahhhhhh..." Zim sighed happily as the cool air hit him.  
  
"Wow," Zib murmured, taking in all the sights and sounds as they entered the mall. And smells, judging by the look of disgust his face twisted into. "This place IS crawling with sweaty humans…"  
  
"Unfortunately. Now, since this is your FIRST outing... which store do you want to go to first?" Zim glanced down at Zib after looking disgusted at a fat sweaty man.  
  
"Hmm.." Zib's eyes wandered about, looking at the various colourful storefronts, before stopping at one in particular; a store specializing in the weird and paranormal. His eyes widened, glistening with awe, and he pointed toward it eagerly, "THERETHERETHERE!"  
Zim casts his gaze in the direction, and rolled his eyes. Of all the stores in the universe…  
  
"Fine.. fine.." he muttered in response. Zib made his way to the storefront eagerly, pushing and shoving through a few gawking mall patrons, dragging Zim along. Once inside the store, he looked around, eyes glistening with awe, much like.. well, a kid in a candy store. The various sections were devoted to the various sects of the paranormal; one part dedicated to aliens and UFOs, another to ghosts, vampires, and their ilk, another to the occult and mystical. He could barely decide where to look first, but decided against investigating the alien section; the people in this store might share Dib's ability to see through Zim's cunning disguise.  
  
Zim glanced at some of the isle names, and snorts at the alien isle as they make their way past the isle. He managed to spy one of those Alien Sleep Cuffs Dib had once used on him, but his attention was diverted when he saw a jar of 'Bigfoot Poop' and squirmed at the idea.  
  
"Urgh, retched!" he declared as he stared blankly at the jar which contained a brown liquid. "Ick." GIR seemed to be enjoying the 'Alien Seeking Goggles' he had found which was going for 99c, and was wearing them and looking at a bin.  
  
Zib wandered to the ghost-and-such section, sorting through the various ethereal recording equipment with interest. He and Zim were getting more than a few suspicious looks, but the little hybrid didn't seem to notice. Bored with that, he finally relented and wandered toward the UFO section, but being far less careful than Zim, he wandered too close to one of the alien detection devices, and yelped with a display of detectors started going off, pinging and flashing red lights.  
  
"Uh-oh." Zim mouthed to himself, all the people in the store turned around and stare at the source of the sound, and a gloved hand pops out of the machine and pointed directly at Zib hyperactively.  
  
"What's going on here then?!" The owner of the store, some bearded dude steps out from behind the counter and begins approaching Zib, when Zim grabs Zib by the hand and rushes out of the store, leaving GIR behind who was now staring at a pot plant with the 'Alien Seeking Goggles.' Zib was frozen like a deer in headlights, for once not squirming as he was yanked away, finally regaining his senses and running to keep up with Zim.  
  
"Hey.. slow.. down!" He panted, barely able to keep up with the longer-legged alien, "I think we lost GIR, too!" Zim skidded to a halt, and turned back behind him to see that Zib was right.  
  
"Curses! You, stay here. I can't risk another machine alarming at your alien-ness." Zim exclaimed, pointing a gloved finger at Zib. "You understand me? Don't move."  
  
Zib nodded, watching Zim leave. He looked around at the crowd he was left among, shrinking back. He got a few more odd looks, but was mostly ignored as he was pushed and shoved around by the current of the crowd, being forced to stumble away from the place he'd been assigned. He frowned, and decided it couldn't hurt if he just wandered over and sat on one of the benches he had seen nearby, so he goes looking… unfortunately, they're further than he thought.  
  
The crowd seemed to get thicker and thicker as he made his way to the bench, but finally reached it and sat down. There were shrill cries of tired babies from the crowd, and the usual nagging of younger kids wanting to go to the toy department. Soon a weird little dog hopped up and sat down besides Zib, who stared blankly at the little hybrid. The dog's staring yellow eyes leered at Zib, and the scar on it's head was probably resulted from a severe kick to it.  
  
Zib blinked, suddenly alerted to the presence of another sitting beside him... His eyes drifted over to the dog, and he suddenly shrieked, leaping off of the bench and fleeing back into the crowd, albeit in the opposite direction. Zim was certainly going to have a fun time re-locating him after this. The dog blinked in response, and licked it's mouth. Meanwhile, back where Zib was supposed to be…  
  
"Zib?... Zib this is NOT funny!" Zim had returned, GIR in hand and was now searching the small area for where Zib would hide, possibly to annoy him further. GIR was more interested in the Bigfoot hat he was wearing which he had gotten from the store, ignoring his master who was slowly growing more and more worried about the little one. "Uh-oh.... Uh.... what to do what to do... CURSES! My tracking device is back at the base...! GIR!"  
  
GIR barely seemed to notice being addressed, hugging his hat happily to his head, eye-cams bent in joy, tongue lolled out. He blinked a few times, watching Zim shout at him for a while - which to him, sounded like a long stream of 'blah's - until it finally occurred to him that Zim was trying to get his attention.  
  
"WANNA TRY ON MY HAT, MASTER?!" He offered loudly, drawing a few more worried looks from the crowd, wagging his tail.  
  
"...No GIR, I don't want to try on your hat." Zim replied, a vein now visible on his head which was throbbing a bit. "I need you to try and track down Zib, the little rat's wondered off after I gave him DISTINCT orders to stay put!" Zim replied, still looking around in hopes to spot the spawn, but to no avail.  
  
"Rat?" GIR's paw suddenly flew to his forehead, hitting it with a clank as it saluted forcibly, "YES, MY LORD!" GIR suddenly flew through the crowd, leaving a smoke trail. He soon returned, dragging one of the horrible parking-garage rat people behind him, which was hissing and clawing at the air. "Here he is!" He announced happily, holding up the mutant's wrist.  
  
"No GIR, not a rat... ZIB! Zib, remember? Oh say this high," he showed how high Zib was compared to him, "Big glasses, black trench coat.. YOU KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE! FIND HIM!!" The rat was startled by the screams it squirmed out of GIR's grasp, and latched itself upon Zim's head. "YAARRGHHHHH!!!" Zim screeched like anything as he tried to shake the rat off his head without making his wig fall off.  
  
"Oooooooooh." GIR watched Zim run around screaming and trying to remove the rat-person. "Hm.. Glasses.. Trench coat.. I know!" The robot was soon off again, leaving Zim to deal with the rat. After a somewhat longer time, he returned, dragging a figure along by a scythe-shaped lock, who was screaming,   
  
"AAAAAARGH! ZIM! CALL YOUR ROBOT-THING OFF!" Dib wailed, feebly trying to retrieve his hair from the robot's grasp, dressed in camouflage gear, wearing a few tufts of grass and hay to blend in with the vampire cow's natural environment. Zim turned and glared at GIR and now Dib, the rat still attached to his head.  
  
"...not DIB!! YOU STUPID THING!!" Zim screeched, drawing even more attention to the group. "Why must I be forced to work with such a-" he stopped when he saw how the group of humans around the three were staring at them. He gave them his best glare, and they were off again.  
  
"But you said-" GIR frowned, holding Dib's head up to Zim's side, which came up to about the height he'd indicated for Zib. He had the glasses, too, and the coat, so what was he complaining about? GIR shrugged and dropped Dib, who scrambled to his feet, rubbing his poor scalp,   
  
"What're you up to NOW, Zim?" He glared at the Irken suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at the rat-person, dusting himself off and straightening out his hay camouflage.  
  
"That is none of your business, Dib-Worm! What has happened today is me and GIR to know about, NOT YOU!" Zim snarled back at Dib, the rat finally hopping off the green one's head and scurrying away. "Just go back to hunting your precious vampire cows."  
  
"I can't. They were on vacation," Dib muttered, while GIR went back to hugging his hat, "Your stupid robot dragged me into this! Literally," He frowned, trying to stuff some of his hair back into his scalp. A thought crossed his mind, as his eyes went from GIR, Zim, to himself… "Hey, if we're all here, uh... who's watching Zib?"  
  
"Uh... Zib? He's uhh... he's fine you don't have to worry about him. Heh-heh..." Zim put his gloved hands together, glancing back and forth as sweat now ran down his forehead, not from heat but from worry. "I came here to uhh... purchase something for him... THIS!" he snatched the hat from GIR, "Yes, yes I came to buy him this hat. Stupid what spawns want, isn't it? Heh-heh." GIR blinked as his hat was swiped away, and he tried to grab it back feebly, getting teary-eyed.  
  
"MY HAAAAAT! Oh, hi, Dib!" He saw the human, apparently forgetting he dragged him in here 3 seconds ago, "Me'n Master are tryin' to find Zib. It's FUN!" He squealed, while Dib looked at Zim dully,   
  
"Oh, really."  
  
"...did I say buy the hat? I meant trying to FIND him! Yeeeaahhhh...." Zim let go of the hat, making GIR fall flat onto his robot hiney and the hat end up on his head again. "But you shouldn't worry, Dib. I have the advanced technology to find him, so you hurry on home and do what... Dib's do." He shooed his hands at Dib, trying to make him leave. It didn't work.  
  
"I KNEW I shouldn't have left him with you! Dib slapped his forehead, "What've you done with him, Zim? Accidentally shoot him into the sun? Turned him into lunch meat, maybe? I'm starting to think I SHOULD turn Zib into the Swollen Eyeballs, he'd probably be SAFER with them!" He started to pace back and forth, before realizing something and assuring, "Not that I'm, uh, WORRIED about your little cloning experiment gone awry, or anything." He coughed.  
  
"Hmm yes I'm sure." Zim replied, his arms now folded after Dib's little display. "No, I did not do those things... I just... lost him in the Mall. But it shouldn't be so hard to find him again! After all, I am a highly superior being to you stinky humans." He modestly put a hand to his chest proudly, "I'll find him no worries! And NO thanks to you!" he ended with a severe pointing at Dib.  
  
"Oh, yeah, a highly superior being who can't keep track of one little clone-spawn.. thingie." Dib rolled his eyes, looking around the huge mall, "Besides, I know this mall far better than you. They probably don't even HAVE malls on.. wherever you're from."  
  
"We have no need for Malls!" Zim snapped back, while turning away from Dib. "You wouldn't even understand our means of purchasing products, so I see no reason to continue this conversation." With that Zim marched off into the crowds, and soon GIR followed him since he didn't want to stay with the big headed kid.  
  
"Fine! I'll just find him myself!" Dib vowed, marching off in the opposite direction.  
  
"Master, hiz head scares me!" GIR confided in Zim, hugging his hat close to him while sticking close to his Master.  
  
Meanwhile, several blocks away, Zib came to a stop, panting, looking back to make sure he'd lost that frightening little dog.   
  
"Whew," he muttered, until realizing he'd also lost himself, quite well. He gulped, backing up into a trash can, looking around, "Mom?" He called weakly, looking around, frowning. The Mall was taking on a more spooki-fying look now, the stores around him were rather dark and scary looking. Well, to a little kid at least, and he counts as a little kid. Then a boy stopped walking and stared at Zib, turned out to be Brian from Zim and Dib's class.  
  
"Hey... you look familiar." He said as he looked down at the greeny-yellowish skinned kid. Zib cowered back into the corner against the trash can, sitting down and hugging his knees. He blinked up at the unfamiliar voice,  
  
"W-what?! That's impossible, human stink!" He hissed, his fear making him more excitable. Of course, sounding just like his Mom wouldn't do much to deter the kid's suspicions.  
  
"...Zim?" Brian asked, noticing the familiarity in the voice and the personality as well. "No... knew I shouldn't have had that brainfreezie today..." he rubbed his head painfully as he still stared down at Zib. Zib scowled up at the human, looking up at him from behind his large pair of glasses.  
  
"No! Zim's my Mom, stink-creature!" He then froze, blinking, realizing he, uh, probably shouldn't have said that…  
  
"...that's it, now I know I'm going insane." Brian muttered to himself, raising an eyebrow at Zib. "But Zim's a boy... wait, is he?" Poor Brian was getting a headache the size of Dib's head, and this is not a good thing. "I know he's gay, least that's what everyone says.... but that'd explain that whole Dib thing..." Brian shook his head, as if trying to shake the ideas out of his head, only making his headache worse.  
  
"He is not, pig-weasel!" Zib scowled, feeling the need to defend his 'Mother'.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure little... thing." Brian glanced around, not seeing Zim or Dib nearby he soon got the idea in his head this little… thing is probably lost. He turned his gaze back to Zib. "You lost or something?"  
  
"Of.. of course not! I know perfectly where I am!" He huffed, putting on a show of being indignant, "Why, I'm… I'm…" He sighed, slumping, his pride being overwhelmed by his little-kid-ness.. "lost." He looked down at the ground.  
  
"Oh." Brian put a hand to his chin while he thought for a while. "Well maybe we could go to information and have them page your name out over the loud speaker..." Zib scratched his head. Well, why not? It wasn't like the people who'd been pursuing him knew his name.   
  
"I, uh, guess…" Part of him, the Zimmy part, was disgusted at being assisted by a human, but he WAS lost, and more than a bit scared.   
  
"Well come on, we'll find Information then." Brian held his hand out to Zib, half of him asking him why he's being so insane as to help this little... thing. But still, he knew how it felt to be lost in the mall before, since it happened to him once. Zib swallowed his half-Irken pride, grimacing as he reached out, taking the older boy's hand, looking around as he followed him to the information center. Part of him was paranoid - and that he could've gotten from either parent - that the human was leading him off into some kind of ambush, but he tried to be rational. Just as the two left the area, who else but Zim ran past, eyes darting around as GIR was being dragged along by his leash.  
  
"Zib?! Zib come out! If you get found we're all doomed! Zib?!" But of course, Zib and Brian were already too far away to hear Zim's pathetic cries. He stops walking and slammed the leash down onto the ground. "This is useless!" Zib pauses a moment, his, er, hair twitching as he thought he faintly picked up a familiar voice, but he dismissed it and continued following Brian.  
  
"Mom will probably be mad at me..." He mutters to himself, frowning, "Stupid evil madness-dog!" Brian decided to ignore the small thing's mutterings, but then looked down at him.  
  
"What's your name anyway?"  
  
"Zib.. um.." He tried to think. He didn't really have a last name, but he knew enough to know that normal humans did. "Membrane, I guess."  
  
"Related to Dib huh? That explains the glasses and hair at least..." Brian decided not to touch on the head, since he knew how it annoyed Dib a lot, he didn't want to see how annoyed this little thing would get if he mentioned it. "I'm Brian." Zib just nodded in confirmation. He decided he didn't need to get into the specifics of his relation to Dib. Heck, he didn't really understand it himself; Zim never bothered to really tell him, and Dib was too nice. How do you tell your spawn they're a horrible cloning accident, after all? The name sounded faintly familiar, too.  
  
"One of the kids from Da.. er, Dib's class?"  
  
"Yeah, I sit by Zim. Dib's another kid away from me." He replied.  
  
"Oh, yeah. He's told me about his classmates a bit." Zib says casually, then continues, like the typical big-mouthed kid, "None of it very nice either."  
  
"Huh?" Brian glanced down at Zib, eyebrows raised. "What'd I do?" Zib shrugs.  
  
"I dunno. He tends to rant and refer to you all as a collective mass set on making his life miserable." Zib scratches his head and comes to the obvious conclusion, "I guess he doesn't like skool much."  
  
"Heck, who does? All skool's about is learning how many ways our small lives are doomed. Personally I could think of way better things to do." Brian replied as they approached the escalator. Zib's eyes widened at the moving staircases, ends lined with jagged metal teeth.  
  
"What manner of human torture traps are those?!"  
  
"Hey hey, calm down Zib. It's all right..." he pointed up at where the staircase leaded. "Up there is where Information is, and this is just moving stairs. Kinda makes life easier when people shop too much and their feet hurt." Zib stared at the escalators with a mixture of suspicion and fear, but reluctantly trusted the human, his lack of experience probably the only reason he was being reasonable at all. Perhaps riding on the toothy stairs would be worth it if it meant getting out of this crowded.. humaney.. place.   
  
He warily stepped onto the escalator, forcing himself to be brave. Brian stepped on with him, and the escalator did it's job, as normal. Taking the two upwards, Brian glanced down at the ground as they raised. Zib started to quake as the escalator rose, ushering them toward the tooth-lined drop off point. He took a deep breath when it came, jumping off of the stairs quickly and clearing the teeth by about a foot on either side, tugging his coat tails to himself tightly to avoid them being snagged.  
  
"All right..." Brian glanced around, and spotted the sign which had an 'i' on it, and an arrow pointing in the right direction. "Okay then Zib, this way." Brian lead Zib in the right direction. "You'll be with your, uh, Mom again soon." Zib quickly followed, eager to be reunited with his parent. As poor a 'Mom' as Zim may be, he still WAS his Mom, sort of. They came to the information counter, and Zib started to fidget,   
  
"What now?"  
  
"Well now we gotta give them your name, and they'll just alert it over the store where you are." Brian explained as they stood in line, after he took a number. He glanced down at it. "666. Glee, my lucky number..." he muttered slightly. Zib scowled at the line. A few of the odd looks he'd been getting were given by nearby members of the line, and he turned his glare to them, mimicking the technique perfected by Zim. Patience wasn't his strong point, and he was soon fidgeting again, distracted by the odd smells coming from the nearby food court.  
  
"We can sit down if you want to." Brian said as he stuffed the ticket into his pocket, also sniffing the air. Zib nodded, making his way toward an available bench and scrambling up onto it, legs swinging. He spied some magazines, and curiously picked the nearest one up, looking at it upside down, though the smell of food kept bothering him, having the odd effect of slightly grossing him out and making him hungry at once.  
  
Meanwhile, all the way across on the other side of the mall, Zim was still searching. Now he was looking through a potted plant, calling out Zib's name. Next he checked the girls loos, he ended up getting smacked up the head by a purse. Next he checked all the food stands, GIR ended up getting a lot of food, thus slowing the search party down again. Now finally they were sat down, GIR eating all the food he had picked up; while Zim looked worse for wear.  
  
"How could I have been so stupid..." he said thoughtfully to himself. "Leaving him alone like that... stupid stupid stupid!" He punched himself in the head a few times, eventually stopping.  
  
Back with Zib, the magazine fails to keep his interest, and he looks at the food court longingly, his stomach, or something comparable, grumbling.  
  
"Um.. Brian?" He asks tentatively, trying to pronounce the human's name right, "Can we get some food? I don't think we'll be called on for a while…"  
  
"Good thinking." Brian replies, glancing at the number which was being called. "Number 10. Yeah, come on." Brian slid off the bench and straightened his shirt. "We'll get something good." Zib grinned, hopping off the bench and starting eagerly towards the restaurants, wondering what to pick. He scrunched the area of his would-be nose at the Mexican stand; he'd gotten sick of that. It happened, living with an, er, brother-dash-dog-dash-robot-slave who was obsessed with the stuff. He was so caught up in picking, he failed to notice Zim and GIR at a nearby table. And Zim failed to notice Zib, what with having his head slammed down onto the table. Probably out of exhaustion or he's maybe weeping, who can tell?  
  
"So what do you want?" Brian asked Zib, checking how much money he had in his pockets.  
  
"Hm.. How about MacMeaties?" Zim sure seemed to like them, after all, considering he'd worked there once and, er, adorned himself with meals from them.  
  
"Sure, MacMeaties works." Brian replied, leading Zib towards the outlet. "Hmm... I guess I'll just have a hamburger." Brian murmured to himself as he looked at the menu, "And a side of fries..."  
  
"Hmm…" Zib pondered, looking over the colorful menu displays, "Oh! I wanna number six!" He tugged on Brian's shirt, pointing at one of the many pictures of hamburgers with various toppings.  
  
"Number six.. okay then" Brian walked up to the counter, waiting to be served as he got the correct change out from his pockets. Meanwhile Zim was trying to block out the sounds of GIR's lippy smacky noises as the robot ate a pizza slice he had gotten from Bloaty's Pizza Hog stand. Zib watched the counter-person set the various packaged foods onto a plastic tray, before turning his attention to the court for an available seat. He peered into the crowd, scanning the tables, blinking in surprise when he spotted a familiar green dog with a zipper on its belly.  
  
"Hey, is that.. GIR? Mom?!" He started to run off, before recalling what happened last time he left the supervision of an adult, and stayed in place, fidgeting. The table he'd spotted GIR at was fairly far away, and his eyesight wasn't the best, of course.. The thick crowd didn't help, either.  
  
"What is it Zib?" Brian had his in a bag this time, after he got his change from the pimply faced employee. Course, he wiped his hand after getting the food.  
  
"I thought I saw GIR over there!" He pointed eagerly, until realizing Brian probably hadn't the faintest clue who GIR was, "He's our, um.. dog. So that means Mo.. er, Zim's probably nearby!"  
  
"...oh! Well, where'd you see him?" Brian glanced up through the crowd, trying to spot the dog. Zib started in the direction he'd thought he'd seen GIR, at least,  
  
"He's the green little dog with a zipper and stitching. C'mon!" He ran off, his short-lived patience running out, darting through the crowd much more easily than a taller kid carrying food.  
  
"I'm coming I'm coming..." Brian yelled back, stuffing his food into a bag and hurrying after the little kid. Meanwhile Zim was now attempting to get the pizza away GIR so he'd stop eating the pizza.   
  
"I told you I hate that noise!! Last time you gave me a pimple remember?! I don't want another one!!"  
  
"Mom!" Zib shouted, barreling past a few adults, causing a few to stumble and one to drop food. He was oblivious to the unfriendly promises shouted at his back, or the boy trying to keep up; he just followed the sounds of familiar pizza-slurping. Zim lifted his head at the sound of Zib's voice, and his eyes practically light up when he sees Zib making his way through the crowd.  
  
"ZIB!!" Zim screamed, not denying to hide his emotions this time, leapt from his chair and races towards Zib, arms out-stretched. Zib ran between the ankles of a few more startled food court patrons before leaping at Zim, probably hitting him hard enough in the abdomen to knock the air out of.. whatever Irkens breathed with. He squeezed 'mother' tightly, eyes closed happily, causing a few of the people left in his wake to stop and 'awww'. Sure Zim was now kinda with less air then he usually had, but in this case he made an exception of yelling at the figure which had done this. He squeezed Zib back happily, his own eyes shut and looking like he was on the verge of bursting into tears, but having some little self control, he manages to not cry.  
  
"Zib, oh Zib I was so so worried! I thought I'd lost you to the _Mall Zombies_ or Slabrankle and ended up as a Zombie yourself!"  
  
"Sorry, Mom.. I HAD tried to stay nearby the place you told me to stay but I wanted to sit down but when I did that scary little madness dog showed up and-" He paused to take a breath – "This nice kid from Skool found me!" He pointed in the direction he'd come, which was slowly returning to its normal current, having been disturbed by the little hybrid. Brian was finally making it through the crowd, and Zim looked up at him from his embrace with Zib, afraid to let go as if Zib would vanish into human air again.  
  
"A… _human_ helped you?" Zim was shocked beyond words, Irkens rarely had any assistance and even when they did it was from their own species, or a species they had conquered. But to have a human filth, particularly the drooling puddle of goo Brian to help his spawn, could this change his views on humans? Probably not. "Good work Zib! You managed to get a human to comply to help you! I am so proud of you!" Zim got to his feet again, still Zib in his arms.  
  
Zib blinked a bit, hugging onto Zim's neck to hang on, looking mildly confused. "Well, that wasn't exactly what happened, but—" He shrugged, thinking better than to correct his 'mom' - it wasn't often he got praise, after all, so he just grinned proudly. And where, one might ask, was Dib in all of this? He was walking into the food court as they spoke, playing with a paranormal.. thingie he'd undoubtedly gotten distracted by in the Weird Stuff store, totally forgetting his search for Zib.  
  
And as Zim was about to spurt something at Brian, did his eye land on Dib. He frowned and placed Zib on the ground, since his neck was beginning to ache. "Oh so look who _finally_ decided to grace us with his presence!" Zim called out, loud enough for Dib, and pretty much everyone else in the food court to hear. Brian decided to keep quiet during this, and just handing Zib his 'Number 6' meal deal.  
  
Dib looked up, blinking dumbly from admiring the impressive gadgetry, "Huhwah?" Everyone in the food court was staring at him, having parted neatly, forming a clear path from Zim to his current location. He glared when he spotted the source of the accuser voice,   
  
"Yeah, Zim, it's me, and you can bet I'm FAR ahead in the search for Zib! According to this device, he's right over... there." He saw Zib sitting behind Zim's boots, munching on the hamburger meal given to him and making a crumb-y mess all over his shirt. Dib slumped.

"Exactly!" Zim marched up to Dib, and soon was stood off against his enemy, his balled fists on his hips, then pointed dramatically to himself, the crowd now intent on watching this little show. "_I_ was the one who's been looking for him all this time! _I_ was the one who had to put up with GIR's stupid food habits! _I _was the one who just found him! And while you were doing what, SHOPPING?! And you call yourself his Dad!"  
  
Dib winced, back treading, holding up his hands defensively against the Irken, looking around sheepishly. Normally, he'd probably argue with equal ferocity, but the on looking crowd seems to have deflated his ego, "Um, Zim.." He tried to point out the fact that they were the main attraction, more than a few people quirking eyebrows at two apparently preteen boys arguing over what appeared to be their offspring.  
  
"What!?" Zim looked over at the group, and just raised an eyebrow at them, and looked back at Dib, obviously not caring at this present time he was getting attention. "I don't care if the Mall goonies are watching us or not!! What have you got to say for yourself HUH!?"  
  
Dib gulped, face flushing. "I.. uh.. got this to locate Zib quicker! Yeah!" He glowered at Zim, hiding the device behind his back. It was in actuality something to detect and measure demonic possession in hamsters, but.   
  
"Oh, brother." Zib rolled his eyes, finishing off his sandwich, left behind with Brian, "Here they go again.."  
  
"Oh don't you DARE use that old excuse with me! You're just being your.. stupid big headed self to get out of trouble again!!" Zim snapped back, hands in position as if he was about to choke Dib at any given moment. Dib glared at Zim, finally being pushed enough to argue back,   
  
"Yeah, well, I wasn't the one that lost him in the first place, WAS I?" The crowd was still watching with amusement, a few people taking bets on how long until it came to blows. Gir cheered and waved his arms,   
  
"YAY FOR DIB!"  
  
"YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!!" Zim screeched at the robot, who automatically had it's eyecams flash red, and saluted it's master. Zim turned back to Dib, glowering with all his might with his lower jaw out in a nasty snarl.   
  
"Least I'm the one who takes CARE of him every day unlike YOU who uses every single humany filthy excuse in the book not to!!" Some female mothers in the crowd murmured that their husbands did exactly the same thing, and Dib received some glares from some girls too. Dib glared back at Zim, arms akimbo,   
  
"Would you prefer my Dad use him in some sort of experiment?! Or be doomed by Gaz if he looks at her the wrong way?!" He shied away from the glares, loosing his shirt collar, "Besides, you're the one who had to get the STUPID idea to try and make a clone in the first place!"  
  
"Well it's not like I invited you in is it?! Do you fine me sneaking around YOUR house?!" Zim grabbed Dib by the collar and brought him in, now the two face to face.   
  
"If I ever catch you on my property again without my permission you shall be forever doomed, and I am _not_ kidding this time. You shall be more doomed then even your pathetic SISTER can doom you! You shall be Mighty ZIM kind doomed, and that's the worst doomed you can get." Zim let go of Dib, pushing him back roughly and walked away from Dib, back to Zib. "The conversation ends here, ZIM commands it!" He quickly grabbed Zib by the hand, GIR by the collar and stormed off, the crowd parting out of his way as he did.  
  
Dib yelped, stumbling as he was released forcefully, re-adjusting his glasses and muttering oaths under his breath. He stormed off in the opposite direction, fuming. Zib frowned, watching him go, then quickly fought to catch up as he was dragged along, waving to Brian. He finally fell into step with Zim, his antennae/hair drooping.

  
Brian blinked, and just waved slightly in response before wandering off in search of his _own _Mom, who was probably worried sick by now. The group made their way back to Zim's house in total silence, besides GIR who sung a little happy tune now and again. Eventually they got home, and Zim was quick to make the base's temperature a little cooler. Zim was muttering some nasty Irken things about Dib as he got his wig off, and lenses.  
  
Zib remained quiet and obedient, not willing to incur his mom's wrath when he was like this. He crawled onto the couch, watching to make sure his parent didn't suddenly decide to turn on him, preoccupying himself with playing with the remote and channel-surfing.   
  
"Oo, Master's reaaaaaaaaaaal mad!" Gir stated the obvious happily, jumping onto the couch. However, unlike Zib, he could probably understand the Irken Zim spoke - whether he chose to process it was another question entirely.  
  
Zib nodded, yawning quietly to himself. He had done far more walking than he was use to, and looked a bit sleepy, displacing his glasses to reach up and rub his eyes. Zim glanced at Zib through the corner of his eye then back at the TV. A grin crossed his face,   
  
"Is it cleansing gel time then?" he joked slightly.  
  
"Wha?!" Zib shot up, shaking his head furiously and trying to look as wide-awake as possible, "N-no!"

  
"I'd say it is, you're all sweaty 'n germy." Zim pointed out, rubbing his gloved hand on Zib's head, he drew it back to him and checked his glove. The look on his face plainly stated Zib was sweaty. Zib whined and tried to squirm away from the hand,   
  
"I'm fine, really!" Well, he _was_ probably filthy by Zim's standards, having tromped around the mall by himself and through all the germs infesting it.   
  
**"**No buts!" Zim got to his feet and lifted Zib off the couch and carried him through the base, Zib squirming all the way of course. "Zib stop squirming already! You can not win against ZIM!"

  
"But!" He cried, finally slumping against Zim's grasp, "I just had one the other daaaay!" He whined, putting on his best pouty face..  
  
"That was _yesterday_." Zim stated calmly as they entered the cleansing room. "So now you're all germy from _today."   
  
_Soon, after all the cleansing of Zib was done, the two left the room; Zib now in sleepwear and being carried over Zim's shoulder. It's one of those PJ's that have the trapdoor in the back, you know... "I really wish you wouldn't whine so much Zib, it's very un-Irk like."   
  
Zib sighed, hair drooping over his face. He was too tired to protest much more, eyelids sinking behind his glasses, arms and head draped over Zim's shoulder lazily, blinking a few times to prevent himself from falling asleep completely. Zim rolled his eyes to himself, as they finally arrived in Zib's allocated sleeping chambers. The room was next to Zim's, so in case of any problems Zib or Zim would have no big troubles getting to each other's room. Zim pulled the sheets back of Zib's bed, and placed him down in it before covering him up again.   
  
"There." Zim said simply, before removing Zib's glasses and putting them on the nightstand. Zib curled up, snuggling into his pillow and falling asleep almost immediately, practically oozing cuteness. Zim scoffed slightly, but then glanced to his right, then to his left. Seeing nobody there, he gently leant in and planted a kiss on Zib's forehead before turning and leaving the room, closing the door after him.  
  
The End!  
_Aw, wasn't that heart wrenchingly adorable? Yeah, it was…_


End file.
